FINAL LESSON: CHRISTINE

"Twisted every way, what answer can I give?
Am I to risk my life to win the chance to live?..."

I didn't know what risk was then
An, but I've learned so quickly
You should be proud of me
My teacher

You gave me more than a voice
You gave me a blade
Razor-edged, diamond-hard
Did you know all along
I'd have nobody to turn it against but you?

You should have left me in my little shadows
Instead of thrusting me into the spotlight
And pulling me into your shadows
Did you think I could
Lead you out of your darkness?

I knew nothing of darkness
What I know of it now
Is what you have taught me
How can I know how to free you from it?

I wish I did know
You must believe me when I say that
I don't want to destroy you
I'm not so apt a pupil
That I have learned your hate
But it is your hate that gives me no choice

Let him go, Erik
Let me go
Let the student become the teacher now

You cannot earn love from hate
You cannot earn compassion by killing
Though you kill all of Paris
Though you hate all the world
Please, you must understand that

I cannot hate you now
In spite of what you've done
But if you kill him
I think that I will learn how

You want my love
Which I cannot give
So, it is you who must choose
Do you want my pity as a poor substitute
Or my hatred?

Learn from me now, teacher
I weep for your imprisonment
But I cannot share it
You put up these bars against the world
A world to which I belong

I do not belong here
I cannot stay
And though I cannot bring you with me
For your world binds you as tightly
I will remember always
We have found a place
Where two worlds may meet

I hope I have brought you a little light
I wish I had more to give
But the light that I have
Would grow cold here and die
I cannot stay
Please say you understand

It's so difficult to say
I don't want to leave you in sorrow
But I must
Is it enough that I share your sadness?

"Pitiful creature of darkness,
What kind of life have you known?
God give me courage to show you
You are not alone!"

--Valerie Lynn Meachum
   Spring 1989

(with many thanks to Charles Hart, for the words from Christine's 
mouth that let me inside her mind)